Holy shit balls, Batman.
It’s been a minute.
Or maybe a millennia.
I’m legit not sure at this point.
I’ve had so much to say to you.
And also…
I feel like I’ve forgotten how to say anything at all.
Caretaking has been an all consuming, eldering, #allthethings experience.
One that no one prepares you for {and one I’m not sure you truly CAN be prepared for}.
It’s been hard coming back to myself.
Making space for myself.
Remembering myself.
Did I say hard?
Yeah.
Understatement of epic proportions.
It’s been PAINFUL, figuratively and literally {subluxed thoracic vertebrae FTW 😩}.
Some of you know exactly what I mean.
Others might have the sense of it coming in your future.
And some, you might never experience the caretaking piece…
But, I know you’ve absolutely been in the remembrance piece.
{Or will be or are now.}
You know this… thing.
It’s that monstrous breaking open that follows you forgetting who the fuck you are {and who you are not}.
It’s the clawing under your rib cage at 3am, after you’ve played yourself.
Again.
And it’s, of course of course, the invitation into your own untaming.
I’ve been having conversations around this aspect of life and creativity and grief and return.
Around who we are when we can no longer be who we were.
When we no longer WANT to be who we were…
But also, when we can’t quite yet see who we are around the way.
We haven’t yet developed the sensitization to see ourselves in that next evolution of the sacred and the soul.
But…
We want to.
So much so that it wakes us up in existential dread that we will never get there.
Because we can’t even see where “there” is {or who we will be when we arrive}.
But… again…
What if that was the medicine?
What if… the unknown and the angst and the fogged up lens of ourselves…
What if they were the invitation itself?
Back into the truth of us.
Down beneath the waves.
Edge walking the spaces between.
What if the distortion is the way?
Yeah.
I know, I know.
But, what of the how?
The practices, the pathway, the energetics in physical form, the momentum, the flow.
What of them?
Well…
I made us something.
For a time such as this.
When the world is {still} burning, but the howling of soul has only gotten louder.
A portal and an activation chamber, if you will.
Into the remembrance and the merge.
Of what we’ve been and what we are now being called to reawaken and evoke.
And if you’ve been waiting for the thing…
If you’ve been waiting for me to show up and light a fire under your gorgeous ass as you walk the underworld of the thing…
If you’ve never before walked with me, but when you know, you simply fucking KNOW it's time for the thing…
This is that moment.
And this is that offering.
For you.
For me.
For the collective.
Introducing…
Mystic Eros: The Lab
Daily Practice Grounds For The Medicine & Madness Of Soul
The Lab is a private {re}wilding membership for the ongoing revelation, merging, and erotic energetics of coming {and cummmmming} fully alive. 🍯
It’s open to both Melanated Kin and white co-conspirators of the revolution at hand, with a bonus community space for Melanated Kin members.
{This is part of my own journey and creative return, of which I’ll be sharing inside The Lab.}
A taste of the invitation:
You Always Knew It Would Come To This.
The moment {the moment} when you could no longer pretend to be anything less than the primordial evocation of God being made manifest as you.
As Creator being breathed in and out of form as you.
As creation, destruction, and rebirth unraveling the spaces between…
As you.
And why did you try to pretend for so long, anyway?
Well…
The living had to be done, ya know?
The belonging and the safety and the surviving.
It had to be done by someone.
And somewhere along the lines, you decided that someone had to be you.
Or maybe you didn’t really decide, so much as agreed.
I know, I know.
You would fucking never.
Except…
Except…
You kinda, sorta did.
Not consciously.
Not really.
More so to get along.
To get by.
To feel as if you had some semblance of freedom, as you continued to choke down the life you were supposed to want and be grateful for.
To feel as if you had some sort of peace, as you continued to wage wars upon your own skin and treat your body as a battleground for the world.
But that freedom and peace you thought was yours came at the cost of your soul dying on the vine.
It came at the cost of confining yourself into a life that would never {and could never} fit.
Not for someone like you.
Not for someone who has scented the Wilds like you.
And certainly not for someone who has called home the mystery and the madness and the bones like you.
But what of the belonging and the protection that come with playing the game?
What of that?
Well, therein lies the cosmic rub, you see.
Because in playing a game that was never meant for you, you only ended up playing yourself.
I know, I know, but stay with me here.
And in said fuckery, you almost {almost} began to believe the lies.
…That maybe you couldn’t really have it your way.
…That maybe it couldn’t be what you saw and felt and knew inside.
…That maybe, just maybe, you actually were wrong all along.
{Ouchhhhhh, and also, fuuuuuuccccckkkkkk.}
But, a funny thing happens while you’re walking the Muggle Dick Road.
At some point, you stumble upon yourself.
And, at some point, you begin to believe again.
In your everything…
The doors are now open for Founding Members.
I will likely close enrollment after Solstice {regular members will be able to join in the spring}.
One of the biggest pieces about The Lab is that you will get to be in my energy on the daily via audio transmissions that I’ll be dropping inside The Field, which is one of my absolute fucking FAVE ways to work with private clients.
But this will be for all Lab members ongoing!
I’ve done daily audios in group programs, etc before, but this is gonna be… magic.
Rawer. Wilder. Deeper.
And, if you join us now, you’ll receive Early Adopter pricing {through Nov 30th}.
So, if this feels like it might be your time…
Continue reading and join us now.
I can’t wait to see you on the inside.
As always…
Here’s to your untaming,
N
P.S.:
Early Adopters will also receive some top secret bonus transmissions that I’ll be dropping via email.
These will not be available anywhere else {not even in the membership once it opens officially on Dec 1st}.
So, the sooner you enroll, the more bonuses you get to dive into and explore.
Whatcha waiting for, Wild One?
Let’s get this shit.
P.P.S.:
Just moved the newsletter back to Kit from Substack (thank goodness!!).
I was of course still using Kit for all program emails, etc, but I had been using Substack for a bit (while I was in the caretaking void 😂).
Migrating all my dope peeps back into Kit from Substack has been a bit sticky (and don't even get me started on trying to migrate all my blog posts 😩).
All this to say, hopefully this isn't reaching into the Never Never Lands of emails bye gone and being sent to anyone who had previously unsubscribed.
If so, I'm so sorry and you can of course hit unsubscribe below.
Thank you for your patience in this comeback of all. the. things. 💋
